I am the youngest of 4 girls. When I was 12 years old my 13 year old sister was diagnosed with turner's syndrome. At that time she was told that she would not be able to have children of her own due to the deteriorated conditions of her ovaries. The turner's syndrome had caused them to atrophy at a very young age and by the time the doctors had diagnosed my sister, her ovaries had virtually disappeared and been re-absorbed into the surrounding tissue.
Ever since I was 12 years old I have contemplated what I might do for my sister. What lengths I would go to in order to help her have children. At that time the science surrounding infertility was very underdeveloped and we could only hope that advancements would be made so that she might have her shot at motherhood. Adoption was always a good option. There are so many babies that need parents and my sister would make an excellent mother to many of them.
As we all grew up and got married we still carried with us the silent question in our hearts, "what am I willing to do for my sister?" Things were more complicated now. We had husbands to consider. How would they feel about this issue? Would they be as willing as we all were to help our sister achieve motherhood. My sisters and I always knew we would be willing to donate our eggs and when the time came for this to happen, I was pregnant with my third child so the opportunity came to my oldest sister.
She dutifully gave herself injections and survived tornado style mood swings from all of the extra hormones in order to donate her eggs. On the day of the egg retrieval they preformed an ultrasound on my other sister. She had a mass on her cervix and they would have to preform surgery to remove it before they could implant the embryos. It was a devastating disappointment to all of us. It was just two days after my third child was born, and although I was happy for my little family, my heart ached for my sister.
I am a religious person, and if that offends anyone who reads this, that is not my intention, but I do not apologize for it. The moment I got off the phone with my sister after hearing about all the obstacles that had just been encountered that day, I bowed my head in prayer. I know that our Maker loves his children on earth and that He weeps when we weep. I also know that more often than not, He answers our prayers through the actions of others. Instead of praying to my Heavenly Father and asking him "Why?" I came right to the point, and asked him the question that had been on my mind since I was 12 years old. "What am I willing to do for my sister?"
The answer came to me as soon as the words had left my lips. Perhaps because I already knew the answer deep in my heart, or perhaps because my feelings we still so tender toward motherhood as I laid in the hospital with my newborn baby by my side. Whatever the reason, I made up my mind at that point, and I have not swayed from my decision since. I would offer to be a surrogate for my sister.
They would use my oldest sister's eggs and my infertile sister's husband's sperm to create the embryos and I would carry the pregnancy. When I made the offer to my sister, she was surprised, due to the amount of morning sickness I experience, that I would be willing to go through all of that and then give the baby to her and her husband. She accepted my offer, but assured me it would be a last resort, as they were still trying to get her pregnant. However after her surgery to remove the mass on her cervix and other ultrasounds procedures revealed that her uterus would not be capable of sustaining a pregnancy, it was time for last resorts.
This is my story from my point of view. This is an amazing opportunity for me to do this selfless act for my sister and her husband. Although I'm sure I will experience the same amount, if not worse, morning sickness throughout this pregnancy, I know that each trip to the toilet and every bucket filled is an expression of my unconditional love for my sister and my brother-in-law.
Becca and Dan, I love you guys! Here we go...
